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A police officer questioned a man at the hospital, recovering from a blow to the head.
Police Officer: Are you sure he intended to hit you with the two by four? He's claiming it was an accident.
Man: Yeah I'm sure! He called me a name, and then "BOOM" I got hit on the back of the head!
Police officer: You said he called you a name. What specifically did he say to you?
Man: "The idiot can't even come up with a good insult! He called me a duck!",
instructions place any special instructions here - words to highlight - etc. email address for contact etc
This Joke submitted by http://galesgifts.windhavenweb.com/giggles.html,
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Shut Up !
A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, "Do you know that you were speeding?"
The man replies, "No sir, I didn't know I was speeding." The mans wife then yells, "Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I've been telling
you to slow down for miles." "SHUT UP!" the man says to his wife, "Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quiet." Then the cop says, "well, since
I've got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?" "No Sir" the man replies, "I did not know that"
"WHATEVER!" His wife yells, "I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!" "Shut up" the man yells to his wife again!
"Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!" Curious, the cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her, "Does he always talk
to you this way?" "No" she replies, " Only when he's been drinking!",
This Joke submitted by Printing Directory U.K.
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Ticket
I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a damn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!!
So I called him a horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
But I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner.
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